Sunday, 23 November 2008

Work it, Mom!

Even in this post millennium era (aaaah, just love the term), the concept of working vs. stay home mothers is still debatable. I watched this talk show in the TV about working mothers; both working and stay home moms have their own opinion. Stay-at-home moms uttered that it is women's responsibility to take care of their children and homes, while working mom have their own opinion. A woman has to be free with her own choices and that she has to have something of her own, and if it's one's career, then be it.

It has been a common phrase "that men go to work while women stay home". This has been an indisputable value for years. I remembered during my childhood years, most sitcoms, TV shows, portray mothers as housewives. A couple of years ago I even got this email about " what a woman should do when his husband is about to come home" which include " fixing dinner, clean the house entrance from clutter, greet the husband-remember he is tired, prepare the kids, blah blah." (I ended up not having any relationship with the guy who sent me the email – I found him too old-fashioned)

We live in an "Either Or" (Man-Dominated-)World. So in some environment, women are expected to make a decision between: a career or a family. Either to work, or to stay at home. In which I think is very unwise. Because I have seen though, examples that do not confirming this phrase. I have seen children in chaos that comes from a family with a stay at home mom. I've seen also a family where the mother excellent career goes hand in hand with the children's strong academic achievement.

For me the most important is: the choice of the mother herself. First, the mother should be HAPPY with her decision ( yes, SHE should decide on her own), either to work or to stay at home. If she wants to stay on the track, then she must realize all the consequences, and in this era where everything is possible (yes, everyting including having a Botox injection in lunchtime) there are endless alternatives: daycares, nannies, or…. Grandparents :p . One can also opt to stay at home at her OWN will. Being a stay at home doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. One can stay at home, not working, but still be active and connected to everyday's world.

I, however, trust that a mother has to be HAPPY, content and a complete person in order to raise her children to have a whole personality. And to be one, one must have something to be a grasp of her own: a hobby, a networking, or a career, or three of them.

The conclusion is: it doesn't matter WHERE you are as a mother. Be a HAPPY mother, WHATEVER YOUR DECISION IS. And remember, a happy mother is one who first takes care of herself.

Dr Robin Smith of Oprah mentioned: Drop into your own world—what you need to do for your own aliveness, your own vitality, your own sense of well-being in the world.

Take care of yourself, and BE HAPPY, MOTHERS! Wherever you are……

No comments: