Sunday, 19 April 2009

What makes a good mother?

What makes a good mother?

A stay at home mum? A mother who breastfeeds and changes nappies? A mother who always say 'yes' to her child?

What makes a bad mother?

A mum who works and has activities of her own? A mother who regularly watches TV and still has time to read books? A mother who didn't breastfeed her baby?

These questions have been running around in my head chasing each other's tails like crazy. And yet I couldn't figure out the answer. So I decided to rewind my memory just trying to seek out some 'aha' moments. (duh! I sound like Oprah don't I?)

Anyway, once upon a time, I had lunch with some bunch of girly mums. We talked and talked and reached a point of discussion of why my baby didn't like to be breastfed because I only produce so little breast milk. And out of the blue, one 'good' mum said that it happened because "You are not passionate enough in breastfeeding your baby." I of course, was left speechless with her statement. Other, told me how a good mother she is by not working and always brings her daughter wherever she goes, shopping, that is.

So a couple of week later, I joined again this group of mums for a shopping spree. I arrived at the scene to find a stroller with a crying –hysterically crying- toddler inside, while the mum – the so called good mum- was inside an fashion store, mix and matching some items. Then the procedure repeated itself in a few more stores. Mum saw a bargain / nice shoe / nice dress / nice earring; mum went in store, left the stroller till baby screamed; mom went to cashier, finished shopping, and strolled down with baby for a while. Then repeat. When I was about to go home, mum got shoes, dress and matching sets of earrings. And baby was in "temper tantrum mode: ON."

On a similar occasion, we, of course, discussed our recent days. I told them I am taking a writing course (stay tune for more stories on my writing course). Some of them became bug-eyed, like saying "what is she doing? Taking a course? In writing?" One of them told me, though, "a writing, a hand-writing course?" she said, "you should ask my daughter to teach you, her teacher told me she has a good handwriting." I again, of course, was IMPRESSED.

I saw moms who said she "did all things possible for her children, all on her own", and yet gained no respect from her kids.

I saw moms who stay home and do all the chores by herself and yet didn't have her words listened by her daughter.

I grew up seeing my mother doing tons of activities.

Some of my friends grew up watching her mother work from 9 to 5 and yet still be able to comment on her daughter's hideous outfits.

I know a mom who didn't breastfeed her daughter at all, but 15 years later spent a day off of work with her daughter to seek David Archuletta's autograph.

So what makes a good mum?

It's not merely about breastfeeding and changing diapers ONLY. It's not only about breastfeeding your daughter exclusively ONLY. It's also about what you "do" in your life and how she sees you as a person. Are you in a time warp that stuck on the day that she was born? Or are you developing yourself?

I guess it's about evolving. Yup, a good mum is an EVOLVING Mum. This means not only that you nurture your child while she grows; you nurture yourself and grow too. So one day you can answer her questions on herbivorous dinosaurs, instead of thinking that it's a new line of shoes by Todd Oldham. And growing and evolving, can only be achieved by being active, a process of learning and adapting. To go out alone without her (well, ONLY if you have somebody to take care of your child) is not a crime. That's what I call 'educated risk'. I don't' think you can do no harm going out once in a while, shopping with your girlfriends, take an art class, get that manicure. And even if you have nobody to take care of your baby, you can always count on the baby's father, right? For example, I know a mum who takes painting lesson during weekend when 'papa' is home.

A couple of hours a week will do, sort of having a lunchbreak from 'mummyhood'. I think it's better than pushing strollers down the shopping lane with a hysterical baby inside.

Saturday, 18 April 2009

what is your ‘ red balloon’?

From DIVA, October 29, 2006.

what is your ‘ red balloon’?

As if they were a bouquet of red balloons, you have been holding on to wish after wish for years now. Today, one of those balloons might slip your grasp and sail away from you, but you shouldn’t run after it. Watch it float higher, to land in a place you’ll never know. Then, realize that it didn’t actually elude your grasp. You consciously LET GO. Value the fact that YOU were the powerful force in that scenario and then go wish yourself another red balloon….

PS: Gonna miss you my red balloon…

PS: I don't remember wheter this is really my writing, or a made out poem from cut and paste of a chain email. But I think I wrote it myself. Blah. Whatever I did, just enjoy.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Pre-Summber Blockbuster I can't wait to see

1. Wolverine
Having seen all the series from the franchise AND had been a mad, mad X Men card collector for quite some time, I desperately longing to see the film. Searched the net for the so called ' leak' but couldn't find it anywhere. Anyway, I'd love to see the story behind the 'making' of a wolverine. Wolf serum? Adamantium skeleton? Let's just watch.

2. Star Trek XI
I'm a Trekkie. Period

3.Transformers II
Robotic Cars, animatic transformation AND a background story that comes from a nostalgic 80s Cartoon Show. All the contributing factors in making a good action movie and a box office, too.

4. Terminator: Salvation
Just love the connors and T something something - err I mean Arnold's character. Love to see HOW the story evolves. The last installment just told us the virus had made weapons to act on their own. Now we'll see the explanation of the time travel by John Connor's father. Hopefully.

5.Angels and Demon
Simple, watched and read Da Vinci Code, would love to see it transferred into moving pictures.

Titles I would like to see in the near future however:
1. Wolverine II : The wedding
2. Star Trek 23 : The search for Dr Xavier and Jean Luc Picard
3. Wolverine vs terminator : Battle for earth
4. Transformers VI : the time travel trek to the stars
5 Angels tranform to demons
6. Wolverine vs Terminaor vs Transformers : the battle begins
7. Wolverine vs Terminator vs Transformers II : between the angels and the demons

Just some pics

Just some pics I got from my weekend dinner las saturday.

Grandma's old cup
Loc : PS Cafe

Smoked Salmon / Sashimi Pizza ?
Loc : Ben & Jerry's Dempsey

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Things in life you can't change, even if you want to.

1. Your birthday (& funeral date)
Yep... Our births and deaths, along with judgement day, are waaaay out of our knowledge. And like it or not, 'He' had already settled it loooong long time ago, even before the making of the universe.
2. Your Parents and Siblings
There were days when we hoped we become part of The Osbourne or the Hilton clan. But, we merely regular people, so get real. Always respect your parents and your siblings, because just like you can't choose your parents, they can't choose you as their offspring.
3. Your Race
You can change the front cover of your passport, but can never change your heritage, or your race. It sticks with you wherever you go.
4. You Physique
Michael Jackson can erase his cappuccino -or dark mocha-pigments out of his skin and flattened his puffy nose. But people will always know him as "that black kid, the youngest of the Jacksons five". Sure you can straighten your frizzy curly hair, but your primary school friends will always call you "curly". The point is : accept who you are and what He has given you. Inacceptance will only lead to pointless unsatisfaction.

Sunday, 5 April 2009


I'm just checking out some photography blogs and I just realize that now there's a digital Lomo camera - called MiniMo. I remember I saw it in once in one of toy outpost cubicle (Plaza Singapura Level 7), but forgot to note down its website. Wonder if anyone is willing to share me some infos on Mini Digital Lomo Camera or MiniMo.

Rania and the iPod

Mommy, can you add more disney songs to my ipod's playlist? :P

Thursday, 2 April 2009

The biggest loser is the winner

The biggest loser. It's the name of a reality show in US. No, it's not about gambling - that's what I first thought too - it's about losing weight.
A bunch of obese contestants gather up in a ranch, work out and try to lose weight... the old fashion way. Yep right, diet and exercise only. Therefore no tummy tuck, no acai drinks, not even diet pills. And man, do they lose weight! Some of them only lost a couple of pounds ... but some of them lost more than 40% or 120 pounds!
But then again, the show is not about just losing weight. It's about effort, endurance, hard will and getting to know your own self.
It shows me that the best thing in life is not to be thin and beautiful. It's about to be healthy, happy with who you are AND what you have in life.

Truly, the contestant has inspired me... nope, they THINSpired me.

So, starting tomorrow, I'm gonna start losing weight and exercising....and eating healthier food....

(Of course AFTER I finish this full bag of Famous Amos cookies, PROMISE!)