Saturday, 15 November 2008

Unhappy People Said Unhappy Stuff, Do Unhappy Things, To Make Other People Unhappy

The title said it clearly.

It is a "saying" that I have learned after years and years of on-going experiment (read: years and years of my humble-life experience) – which I hardly bear in mind these days.

During my pre-married life, my one-million activities had provided me with opportunities of meeting millions of people. As my roles always changes between one activity to another; from a performer, a toastmaster, an employee, a boss, a traveller… to a habitual eater (yes, eating in various restaurants for me IS an activity) I had to condition myself in different situations and circumstances. And sometimes things don't go nicely. Things can go awry, and those are the times when other people hassled you and made irritating commentary or behaviour. Sometimes I would fire back, but learning from my experiences, it'd only worn me out.

One can be on different sides from each other, but why should one make such irritating comments?

One thing I had learnt from my mom was to "always put yourself in one's shoes so you'll understand the way they behave". So every time, I feel "beaten up" by somebody, I always try to put myself on their shoes. And most of the times, I can understand the rationale. Why? As "only unhappy people said unhappy stuff, do unhappy tings, to make other people unhappy".

There was this lady at the office that was really infuriating with her commentaries. Turned out her hubby ran away from home. Verdict: she was unhappy.

There was this irritating person that somehow hated my speeches all the time at toastmaster. Turned out he was some sort of a 40-year old virgin. Verdict: he was unhappy.

There was this buddy that literally trying to worry me with his stories about Singapore immigration issues (during my PR application). Turned out … he was not even a PR. Verdict: he was unhappy.

So now, every time I met someone that bothers me, I just remember to put myself on their shoes. They could be an unhappy mother, an unhappy waitress, an unhappy adventurer, an unhappy person that lives an unhappy life.

I've made mistakes, so from now on; I'll bear in mind the result of my-so-called experiment.

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